


Feeding The Rumor Mill

by MonikaFileFan



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Arguing, Banter, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 14:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15245379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonikaFileFan/pseuds/MonikaFileFan
Summary: Mulder gets angry after overhearing a conversation about himself. Takes place during Season 5.





	Feeding The Rumor Mill

Summary: Mulder gets angry after overhearing a conversation about himself. Takes place during Season 5.  
References: The episodes Detour and PMP.

 

“True friends don’t believe rumors about you, because they know you. True friends defend you, not help spread lies about you.”  
\--Rehab Time

xxxxxxxxxx

FBI Headquarters  
X-Files Office  
11:47am

All Scully heard is the blood rushing through her ears as Mulder and her walked through the office door. He waited for her to walk in first, and she made sure that she hightailed it to the back of the room where her area is. Putting a little distance between them right now was a good thing. Not that she could ever be uncomfortable around an angry Mulder, it’s just that he looked like a rabid animal at the moment and she knew damn well it was because of her.

He finally stomped into the office and whipped the door shut so hard, that it shook the door frame and it’s supporting wall. She jumped slightly even though she knew it was coming. Her breath quickened and her stomach churned with guilt. The anticipation of his words that she knew would echo throughout the room at any second had her on edge.

She couldn’t help but notice that mad Mulder was a beautiful sight to behold, even though it was the absolute wrong time to be letting her mind wander to her self-categorized forbidden Mulder-thoughts.

Scully couldn’t even dare herself to attempt eye contact, but she knew from the brief glance she got in that hallway outside of the bullpen that he’s seething. The walk to the elevators and the ride down to the basement was nothing short of tension filled, and not the usual wonderful tension they normally share with one another. She could feel the anger like a tangible vibration pulsing out of his body as he stood rigid in the back corner of the elevator.

As soon as the doors dinged open, he was off like his ass was on fire and made a beeline to the office door.

Her heart dropped, but her composer that she has practiced so hard to keep all these years was paying off as she walked to the door and unlocked it slowly, trying not to let him see her hand slightly shaking.

But he was pacing now inside the office with clomping steps, while mumbling in between the maddenly hard swipes at his hair. She stood with her hand gripping the edge of her desk with as much patience as she could muster, while she watched his ardor come to a climax.

Patience. Just be patient, she started chanting to herself.

Jerking his body around, he stalked over to the filing cabinet and let his graceful hand slam on the top of it. Mulder still refused to make eye contact, but he did swiffle his head ever so slightly towards her and clenched his jaw over and over. She could tell he was trying to get his fury under control before he decided to speak to her.

Scully knew he never wanted to hurt her feelings, yet she also knew that he was at a breaking point with the Hoover’s rumor mill.

It was all coming to a head. All the bullshit attitudes, all the whispers, all the glares and comments made toward him and their partnership throughout the years, was boiling over the proverbial pot of Mulder-angst.

And she felt terrible.

She couldn’t stand the silence anymore, couldn’t hold it in. She whispered, “Mulder, please say something. Yell at me. Just… please don’t-”

“Don’t what! Don’t be shocked to hear those fucked up things come out of everyone's mouth’s about me up there? Oh not to worry, Scully, I’m not surprised about any of it!” It came out as a harsh growl, yet it made her ears ring.

She hadn’t moved a muscle since she walked in and was afraid if she did, he would bolt and leave her standing there alone with her regret. “Mulder I… should’ve handled that whole situation much more professionally. And should’ve stopped it without a doubt, instead of tripping over my thoughts. I failed you just now and I feel like an ass,” she admitted. “Like a terrible person and friend for even listening to those women in the first place.”

Mulder slowly closed his eyes. He still hadn’t looked her in the eye and it hurt like hell. She would almost prefer to be dragged through the forest by those Moth Men in the Florida woods from last month than cause Mulder excess emotional pain.

Her voice became shaky and thick with emotion. She wasn’t going to cry. She felt didn’t have that right at the moment. Scully would save her own frustration and tears for later if he couldn’t forgive her today.

“And, I think that- I know that I didn’t exactly out right deny what was said, but I do know I didn’t confirm anything that was said either.”

Right then, Mulder did lock his darkened eyes on her own welling ones and quickly snapped his body back up to attention.

“You’re damn right you didn’t confirm anything because there was nothing TO confirm, and you of all people know that! That woman was lying, Scully, but you had to of already known she was. At least I hope that you know.”

Mulder raised one hand to rub along his forehead while the other sat in a fist on on his hip. He sighed in what she knew was frustration and what sounded like sadness or regret. She couldn’t help but contemplate what part he was sad or regretful about. There not being anything to confirm about she and him, or that the other woman was lying, she wondered.

“Our friendship and partnership was just thrown out there like a piece of trash in front of half the FBI Bullpen!” he hollered, fuming. “Yeah we both know they all talk shit, but this was the last straw! You’re my partner and best friend and know how… much fucking shit I have already had thrown at me by our peers. I’m the pariah, remember? But you shouldn’t be.” He heaved out groan while still holding onto her gaze.

Neither one of them moved, just heavy breath sounds filled the cone of silence that settled among them. Scully felt the burn of tears start to make its way up into her eyelids, but she tamped them down before he could see.

“I’m sorry, Mulder. I should have just said, I cannot and will not ever confirm or deny anything personal about you, or me for that matter, and left them standing there like jerks. And about the other thing that was talked about, I could and would never break any Doctor-Patient confidentiality anyway, Mulder. You know that. What would you have wanted me to say?”

Mulder’s mouth opened and he took a step forward.

With her palms held out in front of her, she let him know she wasn’t finished talking yet before he jumped back in to comment. Her voice got a louder and her pulse started racing again. The anger she’d pushed aside minutes ago was starting to rise again.

“I got caught up in idle gossip but that’s not an excuse! I knew it was wrong to continue the conversation, but I have to admit that it did feel nice to be included in the beginning, before the rest of the conversation started. I know, I know, it was at your expense and I feel so goddamn awful about that. Just, please don’t hold it against me, Mulder.”

Mulder just stared at her looking like a wide eyed statue, frozen in place. Her own reaction was to mimic him, and wait for his response as she silently prayed it would one of forgiveness.

Scully was sure she had never seen Mulder so angry when it came to her involvement in anything before. And at this point, she couldn’t hold it against him. She certainly didn’t bring on this incident, yet she definitely felt that she could have done more to support a professional image. She argued with herself that maybe, she shouldn’t have yelled out the words she did for every nosy agent walking the bullpen hallway to hear.

Scully had just unintentionally fed the dwindling rumor mill, and the agents of the J. Edgar Hoover Building were starving.

xxxxxxxxxx

FBI Headquarters  
Third Floor Bullpen Hallway  
31 Minutes Earlier

Scully and Mulder sauntered out into the bullpen hallway with an official approval for a new case. They had just finished a meeting with Skinner about a letter Mulder received from a woman who had found herself unexplainably pregnant with a so called monster’s baby.

Scully knew this case would offer up a more than interesting trip. She internally laughed at herself for looking forward to which possible mythical creature theory Mulder would try to convince her of this time.

It had been a month since their last case and they both were getting antsy to be out in the field again. The pair had been spending even more quality friend time together and she loved it more than she’d let on. Spending extra down time with Mulder while Scully was completely healthy again had been fundamentally necessary for them both as well as enjoyable. Her deeper feelings for her best friend was something she wasn’t ready to dwell on just yet.

Knowing Mulder like she did, she knew he was like an addict and needed his X-File fix. So did she for that matter. The possibility of being able to prove or disprove his theories was her addiction, and she felt no shame in that.

Mulder tossed her a smile as he disappeared into the men’s bathroom. Nodding letting him know she’d wait for him while his coffee kicked in, she remembered that she had been still receiving some random pieces of interoffice mail at her old desk where she stored extra medical textbooks in the bullpen. Scully took the opportunity to make sure nothing was waiting for her there before they had to get to the airport.

On her way out from her desk, a group of four women were huddled together in deep conversation nodding their heads and whispering. As they looked at Scully, she could tell they wanted to suck her into the conversation too. She just gave a tight smile and attempted to move around the women but the tall blonde was brazen and reached out and touched Scully’s arm, effectively keeping her there a moment longer.

She recognized a couple of the women. The one currently holding her arm hostage, was Agent Jacobs and the tall brunette standing entirely too close was Agent Griffin. Agent Griffin had sent Mulder a random get well card signed with X’s and O’s, after she saw him walking down the hall last month with his face scratched up and a thick bandage poking out from under his dress shirt. That wasn’t a subtle move, but Mulder promptly ignored the card. Scully had no idea who the other two younger agents were but she had a feeling she was going to find out more than she bargained for.

“Hey, Agent Scully can we ask you a couple questions?” The look that the Agent Jacobs received was a ‘this better not be about the X-Files or a snarky comment about any nickname’ look. Agent Jacobs, who was called Alice by her short bleached blonde haired friend to her left, shook her head as if confirming that it was nothing more than girl talk.

Scully was more than rusty in generalized girl talk, but she thought it would be a harmless quick and mindless conversation. Boy was she mistaken. Scully was then bombarded with all four women talking at once at her and to each other, recapping the information they shared before Scully walked up.

Apparently, their friend, who was not included in the group of gossip girls, was an agent who intimately knew Mulder so they wanted Scully’s opinion on the topic at hand. The topic, being a rumor they had been told the night before in the bar down the street.

Her stomach tumbled and heart skipped beat at hearing Mulder’s name in the same breath as the word intimate and felt herself being drawn in, hook line and sinker.

Scully had put together from all the rapid words coming out of four mouths and gestures flying from eight different hands, that their friend, Agent Jane something-or-other, was having a shitty day at work and was complaining about her dud of a date she had recently with Agent Mulder. That sparked Scully’s attention immediately. What date? She was completely hooked now.

Scully usually knew more about Mulder’s personal life than she even knew about her own. Scratch that, after over five years as partners, she knew neither of them had much of a personal life outside of work and each other.

This Jane woman had to be lying. Scully hoped she was lying at least. Though, she had no intention of digging any deeper inside herself to find out why she hoped that this intimate date was a lie, or why her heart clenched at the thought that it might not be.

She just decided to patiently wait for more information before she allowed herself to feel any emotion about it yet. Scully calmly nodded and encouraged the gossip girls to go on. She’d wanted to know what the hell was being said about her partner this time and was not leaving until she’d heard it all.

Agent Griffin, who’s huge boobs just happen to be in Scully’s direct eyeline, finally got to the detailed part of the conversation. “Then, Jane said that Mulder took her back to her place where things got hot and heavy.” Scully knew her eyes grew wide just by the look on all the other women’s smirking faces. A jolt of jealousy struck her right in the gut so suddenly that she felt her breath catch.

Apparently, this was where Scully’s input was needed, and she got the distinct impression that what was coming next wasn’t anything she wanted to be involved in.

Agent Jacobs piped up and grabbed her arm, yet again, with a little too much enthusaism for Scully’s liking. “You’ll never guess what she told us happened next!”

She hated listening to idle gossip about anyone and most of the time it had something to do with her, Mulder, her and Mulder, or their work. The hearsay would inevitably swirl around the rumor mill, whether it was formed in the secretarial pool or the bullpen, for weeks on end until something more juicy would pop up. So hearing other women so excited to share personal information, made her uncomfortable to begin with. Mulder’s name being tossed out there was the only reason she chose to stick around this long.

Scully was instantly reminded as to why she had preferred being a tomboy for most of her life.

“You’re Agent Mulder’s doctor right? I mean, I’ve overheard before after recent cases where he was injured, that you were his doctor and take care of him when he’s hurt.” The gleam in her eye made Scully defensive.

She just glared at Agent Griffin silently telling her to get to the point already. She knew damn well Scully was his doctor because she had hounded Mulder for information about his injury in the elevator weeks ago before she sent him her card of desperation.

She must’ve gotten the hint and quickly continued, “and well, since he’d been banged up again recently, had there been any possible permanent damage done?”

“Excuse me?” Her confusion she showed was genuine.

Crossing her arms, she narrowed her eyes on each woman surrounding her. Scully’s patience was rapidly dwindling by the second as the conversation was starting to feel like an interrogation. If she wasn’t becoming so desperate to know what these four nosey asses knew, she would’ve called big boobs out on her failed attempt to steal her partner. What was she thinking? Steal? That’s right steal. Scully shook her head in confusion again as to where her mind was wandering and opened her mouth to end this discussion about Mulder, when she was cut off.

The short pretty mocha skinned agent who had been quiet as a mouse during this entire exchange, pushed her glasses up on her face and cleared her throat as the other three women shifted on their heels.

“We don’t mean to be rude, Agent Scully, honest. Were just curious about the conflicting rumors we keep hearing from other women here in the Hoover.” The mousy agent’s eyes darted around the hall as if she were on the lookout for someone before she finished dishing out the drama. “Jane said that, umm, when Mulder took off his pants… he was sporting a much smaller dick than what was previously rumored to be, a very well-endowed package.”

All the agents started to giggle except Scully, who knew she had the look of death upon her face, yet mousy had the nerve to press on and she wasn’t quiet it about it this time.

“Jane was disappointed that she had been lied to by a male agent who had seen that Agent Mulder had been lugging around an impressive display under that Armani in the locker room. I guess she tried to save the date by ignoring the little fact that his package wasn’t what she’d hoped. But apparently he couldn’t get it up so he ended up leaving her place, and leaving her hanging in the process.”

Scully’s jaw fell agape as Agent Jacobs huffed out a laugh, which spurred the previously mousy agent to finish speaking.

After looking past Scully’s shoulder, she leaned in closer to casually ask, “so what we were wondering was, if you could shed a little light on the subject for all of us eager women that work here? Which dick rumor is true?”

Scully was instantly highly pissed and was struck by a sudden urge to roundhouse them all right there; but the the fact that her mouth was still hanging open from hearing the inappropriate words about her best friend, proved too good of an opportunity to set these women straight let pass her by.

Scully jammed her hands on her hips as she tried not to raise her voice too much while she stated in one large rage filled breath, “Agent Mulder hasn’t even attempted to show me his ‘dick’ let alone have sex with me! So I would have no proof to confirm or deny the rumor that the size of his ‘package’ was very large or very small!”

She stopped yelling out to breathe again, and as soon as the last words left her lips, Agent Griffin took a step toward her. She just couldn’t wait to add her smart ass opinion as she blurted out, “you sound like you’re upset about that. Almost like you’re jealous!” She punctuated it with an evil smirk that Scully was tempted to slap off her face.

Scully felt cornered verbally. No matter the ridiculousness of the situation, she had a need to fight her way out of it. Feeling the adrenaline pump through her veins, she tried to slow her breathing and calm herself knowing full well she had lost her control for all to see.

“You’re all completely crazy trying to use me as a conduit to attempt to get my partner in bed! I’m not standing around here to listening to you degrade him because you’re friend is jealous. Even though Mulder can be an asshole to other people, it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve it. Much like you stupid idiots. Find another man to ogle!”

Scully moved to turn and walk off when the thought hit her that the rage she had been trying to quell wouldn’t go away until she let it all out on the women who had pissed her off.

A hand reached out toward Scully at the same time that she took a quick step back, glaring at all four agents. Then, as the saying goes, shit hit the fan as Agent Jacobs dropped a real rumor bomb that threatened to explode all around the bullpen.

“Shh, everyone calm down. Agent Scully, we were just asking if you knew his details or not. You know, woman to woman. And hey, maybe Fox was injured in the line of duty and is impotent, and that’s why he turns down dates from beautiful women and offers for a one night fuck so often,” she said airily with a shrug.

Her tone came off like she was consoleing Scully and trying to make her feel better about the fact that her partner hadn’t tried to have sex with her. Scully knew it was meant to be condescending and used as a figurative middle finger thrown in her face.

That just lit a fuse on the bomb that was buried deep within Scully’s cool facade.

She was furious and surprisingly hurt. She was more hurt hearing the crass things assumed about Mulder than she’d felt when people labeled her Ice Queen. She and Mulder were no strangers to taking shit from their co-workers, yet for some reason that she couldn’t decipher, this situation seemed to rile her up more than anything she’s heard so far. Scully was done with letting these bitches roll Mulder’s name the dirt anymore than it already had been.

She straightened her spine as thoughts raced in her mind. Who the hell did these women think they were by trying to get her to talk shit about her Mulder? Her Mulder? She pondered to herself why she was laying a very unplatonic claim to him. But the truth was, she did claim him.

Scully could barely think clearly anymore with her thoughts swirling in her head and her heart pounding in her chest, let alone take in the fact that a crowd had formed around the five women, who all were now loudly arguing.

One thing Scully could clearly think about, was the fact that she knew damn well that the idea of Mulder being unable to be aroused was certainly not the case. She was so shocked and ruffled by the fact that the conversation had turned on her so rapidly that she’d lost whatever remaining control she had left.

Agent Griffin mumble something to the women about how she’d hoped to get a couple one nighters from him and that comment knocked her right off her edge of Special Agent Dana Scully and onto the level of catfight Scully.

Scully lost all control of the volume of her voice and practically screamed out, “shut the hell up! His body isn’t the only amazing part about him! Not that it’s any of your fucking business but I’ve seen him sporting an erection that could rival a goddamn baseball bat! So just drop this inappropriate, degrading gossip about Mulder being impotent and forget rumor that some lying woman, he probably never even spent time with, suggested he had a small DICK!”

The word “dick” seemed to echo in the air around them leaving her with a fresh wave of redness she knew was creeping up her neck and onto her face. Then, the argument that Scully had thought she’d just ended, went way too far.

Agent Jacobs wastes no time and jumped right in for the kill. “Oh my God, you really are fucking him? Guess I lost the bet. No wonder our friend had a hard time pumping any water from that well. You must’ve drained that man dry by now!”

All the women tried to stifle their laughter as they covered their mouths with their hands. That left Scully standing there, dazed and confused at how this whole conversation turned into such a clusterfuck.

Gritting her teeth while she dug her nails into her hip bones, she sucked in a breath to try and regain her composer in order to deliver a final blow. Whether it was to be a blow of words or a physical one, she hadn’t decided just yet.

The sudden silence around them was a shock to her senses, save a few gasps and whispers which brought Scully’s attention to the several agents now standing in the hallway and gawking at her.

Remembering exactly where she was just yelling out expletive things about her partner, her breathing evened out while her anger fled. It was now replaced with embarrassment and guilt for broadcasting to about twenty-five agents, all of whom were watching with amazement, that Mulder was accused of having sexual performance issues and a penis size impediment.

How ridiculous!

Scully couldn’t believe she’d just allowed those words to fly out of her mouth. Sure she may have, on occasion, pictured in her mind what Mulder’s slender, muscular, aroused naked body looked like as he moved himself on top of her in her fantasies, but this was beyond unprofessional to say at work.

She brought a hand up to wave the crowd off and announce the show was over and stopped dead in her tracks. Mulder was standing in the hall off to the side of her with his hands balled in fists, watching with a look of anger and astonishment plastered on his face.

He had heard it all. Every. Single. Word.

Scully felt her stomach clench, knowing Mulder had listened to her tirade. Ignoring all the other agents around them, she slowly reached out to touch his stiff forearm when a booming voice echoed through the hallway.

“Alright! Everyone get back to work! There’s nothing to see or discuss out here!” AD Skinner barked orders at all the gawkers and turned his red face over to Mulder and Scully. “Agents, get yourselves together and get started on your case! I want a report emailed to me before the end of the day tomorrow.”

Skinner spun around on his heel and stomped off as all the agents scattered back to their desks into the Bullpen, leaving only Scully and Mulder standing alone.

She suddenly realized she’d said nothing to the the women that denied the fact that she was having uninhibited sex with her partner. And it was now too late to set any of them straight.

Shit!

A wave of dread washed over her with the frightening thought that maybe they were at a greater risk of being spit up over another assumption from their peers of unplatonic partnership between them. They had been split up in the past.

Before she could say anything to him, Mulder whipped himself around, walked to the elevator, and stabbed at the down button. With no choice but to follow, she sighed to herself and rushed into the elevator as he slapped at the letter B.

She immediately looked over at Mulder and felt nothing but the tension of palpable anger radiating off of him. Scully just squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the railing the whole way down.

xxxxxxxxxx

FBI Headquarters  
X-Files Office  
31 Minutes Later

Mulder’s brows furrowed as his head did that little side tilt Scully always found endearing when she tore apart one of his theories. He looked frustrated and confused.

He shook his head, walked over and leaned his butt against the desktop, sitting partially on it while he loosened his tie. He huffed out a laugh that startled Scully and said with a wry smile, “I walk around the locker room naked once, and apparently, there are some very curious male agents in this building. Maybe next time, I’ll just smell after my workout and take my too small or too large of a dick on home and shower there.”

Scully’s eyes widened and asked, “what? After everything that was said up there, the part that you focus on is a peeping tom in the locker room?”

He tossed his head back and laughed.

“Scully I’m not mad at you! You were great up there, Scully. Honestly, the rumors that go around about me don’t usually get under my skin, but I’ll admit that hearing the words actually coming out of my coworkers mouths and having them thrown out at my partner, was a slap in the face. I could’ve just walked away without my anger getting the best of me, but because they were verbally attacking you and backing you into a corner, It took all I had in me to hold my rage in. I had to get my bearings before I opened my mouth.”

She just nodded her head and shifted from one high heel to another. “It’s all just gossip and lies, Mulder and I know I don’t have to tell you that you’re so much more than what other people think of you. To be honest, this situation just reminds me of why my best friend is a man. And an amazing one at that, if I do say so myself.”

The grin that took over his face was enough for any remaining tension left in Scully’s body to dissipate.

Shaking her head and crossing her arms she sighed and told him, “I am sorry though. My conduct actually was abysmal in that hallway, Mulder.”

He slowly stood up and walked halfway over to her, “No, it was perfect. You only batted back the fastballs those women were throwing at you. No one will blame you for defending your partner; especially me.”

Scully looked up at the pencils stuck in the ceiling as if she was quietly saying the next statement to herself.

“That conversation just got out of hand so quickly that I completely lost my temper. I really can’t believe I let my control slip like that.” She rarely ever lost control of any situation and she hated it when she let go of it.

Mulder just smirked and cleared his throat so she would lock eyes with him.

“Look, Scully I’m sorry too that you thought I was so angry at you. I heard enough of what was said to know you couldn’t help what happened, and so did the other agents. I’m not at all upset with you and I don’t blame you one bit for losing your cool and telling off those women. I actually liked it! Want to know why?”

Scully gave a small smile back as she took three steps to stand right in front of him. She reached out to meet his now outstretched gentle fingers, squeezing them between her own.

“Why is that, Mulder, and it better not have something to do with a scene in one of those movies you don’t own,” she chastised, while standing close enough to feel the heat from his body warming her own.

“Because you did it all for me, Scully. You really do always have my back and not just as my partner. You’re a true friend who defends me relentlessly and ruthlessly and in no way would I expect that to change. I couldn’t be more proud that my best friend cared enough about my manhood to tell two dozen FBI Agents that they should only be so lucky to see my morning wood.”

Scully shut her eyes and couldn’t hold in her laughs as Mulder wrapped an arm around her shoulders giving her a quick hug. He guided her through the office door as he grabbed their jackets and keys.

“You know something else that made me proud about that whole conversation up there,” he asked as he locked the office door. Scully shook her head and arched her brow anxious to hear his answer. “That Dana Katherine Scully likes my ‘amazing’ body,” he barely said without stifling a laugh.

She admonished him with her go-to eye roll and simply stated, “In your dreams, Mulder in your dreams.” Why not? she questioned herself. They certainly were in hers. She reached out and elbowed him as she lead the way out of the basement.

Scully caught Mulder staring at her out of the corner of her eye and knew he had something else to say. “Spit it out, Mulder.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie… hearing you yell out ‘dick’ and compare mine to the length of a baseball bat was pretty hot, Scully.” He admitted, looking slightly guilty for telling her.

Applauding herself for keeping her amusement from showing on her face, she wanted to set him straight. “Mulder I’m not a prude, contrary to popular belief around here.” Scully nodded her head to his crotch. “And let’s be real, I’ve had a few occasions to notice you.”

Mulder’s laugh echoed in through the basement while his warm hand that was still around her shoulder gave it a squeeze.

“Oh I believe the color of your hair isn’t the only fiery attribute about you, Scully, I believe you.”

Biting her lip, she turned her head away from him to hide her pinkening cheeks. “Believing usually isn’t a problem for you, Mulder, but I’m glad you noticed,” she quipped as they shared a laugh.

With their moods lifted from familiar banter, they made plans to meet up at Scully’s to drive to the airport together and see a woman about a monster.

xxxxxxxxxx

FBI Headquarters  
Parking Garage  
12:20pm

At their side by side parking spots, Mulder leaned his body over Scully’s opened car door and she could sense he just couldn’t resist the chance to tease her. “Scully, I know you said that you had no proof of my size, but I can assure you that it is very much the opposite of what Agent Jane Mills said it was. She’s just uptight that I turned down her unappealing offer of sex in her car on my lunch break. I think she was irritated when I told her that I don’t show my... arousal to just anyone, and certainly won’t sleep with anyone I don’t love. If you end up getting me naked and turned on, well then, I’d be the lucky one then wouldn’t I?”

Feeling slightly relieved about the fact that Mulder never really had that date, Scully found herself unable to stop staring at the apex of Mulder’s Armani pants. He basically just told her he was a hopeless romantic, along with a very well-endowed man considering the huge bulge he was now sporting two feet away from her face. She had already witnessed many of his erections over the past five years, yet this one was one she wouldn’t be able to just brush off. And with that image now burned into her mind, it certainly won’t help her little Mulder fantasy problems she’d been having for a while now.

“Care to judge for yourself, Scully, we could feed that rumor mill for real?” Mulder just couldn’t help himself, in more ways than one judging by the sudden display of his excitement.

Most of the time, if and when Mulder got an erection around her for whatever reason, she would just ignore it and so would he. It was an unspoken agreement since the first time it happened after she slipped into the car to relieve him from the stake out on the Tooms case.

Not going to ignore it and look the other way today, she thought.

Scully grinned, licking her lips before she tore her eyes away and teased back, “maybe I’ll have that opportunity to judge for myself if this case requires the use of sleeping bags, Mulder, just maybe then we’ll both get lucky.”

Reaching out to shut her car door, she threw him a wink and pulled out of her parking spot to meet him at her apartment where they would catch dinner together before their night flight.

Smirking to herself, she glanced back in her rearview mirror and clucked her tongue. Scully could see Mulder sprawled out against his passenger side door with his hand over his chest feigning a heart attack while wearing a boyish shit eating grin on his face.

”That’s my Mulder.”

xxxxxxxxxx

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea and ran with it so I'm sorry if anyone thought there was a point where Scully seemed slightly out of character. I had to do it and I would've loved to see her get angry with the other women they worked with. As always, I'd love the feedback.


End file.
